Accents

Those who know me know that I can really do accents. Okay, one accent. In fact, all of my accents morph into one particular accent, Irish Pirate.  I'll start off with a nice English brogue, or southern twang, but within a few lines my left eye starts to squint, my pointer finger starts to curl into a hook like shape, and out it comes, complete with Aaaargh maties and aye-ayes. 

Why do I tell you this? Because I think my poor children inherited my skill (or lack there of) with accents.  Suzy can do some Amazing Accents, especially Scottish, you'd think since they're girls they'd get some of Suzy's good skills instead of my warped ones. 

Yesterday the girls were being very fancy at dinner, and as you know, to be fancy one must speak with an English accent. I couldn't quite figure out what accent they were using, but it was definitely not British, and it wasn't American.  At least it wasn't Irish Pirate.  Accents can really raise (or lower) a girls attractiveness, and I don't want to have to pay out a big dowry to get some mediocre fellows to take my girl's hands in marriage because they go around with squinty eyes, hook like fingers speaking like Captain Ahab.